Nobody HearsNobody hearsI am screaming,In the depths of my mind,But nobody hearsI have feelings,Trapped, kept inside,But nobody caresAll I receive,For my efforts,Are staresMy voice is gone,From all my screaming,That nobody heardMy throat is raw,From all the words,This is not what I deserve,But nobody caresI don't want to give you my pain,I only want to shareI have started believing,That I am unlovedI can't see it any other wayI'm giving in to my fears,Because nobody hearsThis has been going on for years,For as long as I can rememberYes, I am aware,That nobody caresI am ending,My pathetic attempts,At trustI am sending,A message to all those I must,And I hope that your understanding,Is so very clearI have done all of this,Because nobody hearsjlp September 27, 2008-Revised march 23, 2010
PretendPretend I killed YouPretend I walked awayPretend I hated YouAnd cursed you every dayPretend I hated Your TruthYour Light, and Your LovePretend I hated everything You gave meAll Your gracious gifts from abovePretend I left Your armsSo I could follow the wolvesPretend I laughed at You when you called my namePretend I walked as far away as I couldSo I could carry my own blameSmiling all the wayBut then
Pretend I was brokenIn the fierceness of the stormPretend I had killed myselfWith the pleasure I sought so hardPretend the world was not enoughEven though I'd given myself to itPretend I hated You stillBecause I blamed You for my fallPretend I crucified You over and overBecause I blamed you for it allPretend
Pretend I was on my kneesTears in my eyesPretend my face was in my handsAnd I couldn't help but cryPretend I realized nowThat all along I loved youPretend I always knewPretend I looked at your bodyAnd pretend I regretted what I had saidPreten
I LostI lost the feeling of motivation through my fingertips.Don't know where it went or when it will come back,If ever.I lost all feeling in my heart.Think I misplaced it somehwere.Misfiled it away in my filing cabinetBut can't seem to remember where.I lost my will to do everything I love.All except writing angsty love poemsIn my blue lined notebook.Maybe the blue is the color of the veins on my heart.Perhaps if I follow the lines I can find my heart again.I lost my way and I can't seem to get directions.Strap a GPS to me and maybe thenI'll begin to find my way and navigate life.But too bad GPS is only to get from point A to point BWithout complicated steps and crisscrosses.