PretendPretend I killed YouPretend I walked awayPretend I hated YouAnd cursed you every dayPretend I hated Your TruthYour Light, and Your LovePretend I hated everything You gave meAll Your gracious gifts from abovePretend I left Your armsSo I could follow the wolvesPretend I laughed at You when you called my namePretend I walked as far away as I couldSo I could carry my own blameSmiling all the wayBut then
Pretend I was brokenIn the fierceness of the stormPretend I had killed myselfWith the pleasure I sought so hardPretend the world was not enoughEven though I'd given myself to itPretend I hated You stillBecause I blamed You for my fallPretend I crucified You over and overBecause I blamed you for it allPretend
Pretend I was on my kneesTears in my eyesPretend my face was in my handsAnd I couldn't help but cryPretend I realized nowThat all along I loved youPretend I always knewPretend I looked at your bodyAnd pretend I regretted what I had saidPreten
I LostI lost the feeling of motivation through my fingertips.Don't know where it went or when it will come back,If ever.I lost all feeling in my heart.Think I misplaced it somehwere.Misfiled it away in my filing cabinetBut can't seem to remember where.I lost my will to do everything I love.All except writing angsty love poemsIn my blue lined notebook.Maybe the blue is the color of the veins on my heart.Perhaps if I follow the lines I can find my heart again.I lost my way and I can't seem to get directions.Strap a GPS to me and maybe thenI'll begin to find my way and navigate life.But too bad GPS is only to get from point A to point BWithout complicated steps and crisscrosses.
Avenue's In The RainSit here staring out of mud stained windowsAs the world goes 'round in slow motion.Time has frozen and I am stuck in constantReruns and rewinds I wish would stop.Curl up on the sofa with chipped christmas mugFilled to the brim with hot cocoa.Sugar-free goodness with stale mashmellowsFloating on the surface.I peer down and smile.It reminds me of my drowning selfAs I inhale the cold night air.It chills my insides and no warmth could save me.Slowly I've been drowning for years nowAnd my heart is stale marshmellows.Hard and flat of flavorMy heart is dusty and old.Been used too muchI had to put it away somewhereSo it couldn't be tampered withBut it didn't work right.Cars flying down the avenue in the rainWith no real place to go, even if they didIt doesn't really matter much as theyArrive in a fury skidding to a halt.Like myself I've never had a place to go toNothing that ever really mattered much.Sometimes I wish I'd stop flying down my life's avenuesSo I could l